My Life

martes, mayo 06, 2003

Absolutely nothing has happened. Is that surprising? Probably not.

I give great advice. People come to me, and I give them great advice. Most of the time it's to strangers, since I don't have many friends. The problem is, I don't take my own advice. I have issues. It's hard to find someone who will listen, because most people, like me, just want to offer advice and solutions. I know what I need to do. It's doing it that's the problem. I have no motivation. I know what but I don't know how. Most of the time I just need an ear. I just need to vent. Probably the main reason why my blog is so whiny.... I need to get crap off my chest. I don't have anyone to talk to. I'm usually the "strong" one, the one with no problems. That's why people come to me. And because my advice is so good, they think I don't need help from them, because I have it all figured out. Ever hear how shrinks are usually pretty screwed up themselves? Similar situation.... I guess...

A certain someone called me more than once and wanted advice with what to do with a flaky person in their life. They said that this particular person was always cancelling on them. Basically just plain taking advantage of their good nature. My acquaintance had always made this person their priority, and now this person was putting everything and everyone else before them. Everytime they call, I listen. I like it when people want my take on things. I have very strong opinions, and I'm not afraid to say them. So, how come when this happens to me, I can't say anything? I'm having 2 people in my life, the 2 closest people to me at this point in my life ALWAYS flake on me. When they need me, I'm there. Why can't they be there for me too? More importantly, why can't I speak up?? With one of them, I'm just SO happy to see them, that I don't wanna ruin the moment by nagging or creating tension. With the other, they have so much crap going on, and I feel that I'm the one constant person, the one they know will not hurt them, that I don't want to turn into the opposite. I'm torn. I like these two people very much. They are really good people and I feel lucky to have them in my life. But these feelings I have are creating resentment, resentment I only feel when they're not here. I hear from them, and everything vanishes. It's extremely frustrating.

Why is it that I meet the best people, yet they live so damn far? Why can't I meet more good people who are local? *SIGH*


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