It seems so easy...

I got this in an email a while back. Any resemblance with reality is pure coincidence!!

Practical Manual to Understanding Women:

*NO= Yes

*YES= No

*Maybe= No

*Up to you= It'd better be how I say

*YOU'RE FREE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT= Don't even think about it!

*DO WHAT YOU WANT= You'll see, asshole

*NO, I'M NOT MAD= I'M SUPER MAD, YOU IDIOT!!!

*ARE YOU FALLING ASLEEP?= You better not be falling asleep!!!!

*YOU'RE ALL LOVEY TONIGHT...= I'm not in the mood...

*AM I FAT?= Tell me I'm hot

*WE NEED= I want

*WE NEED TO TALK= You're in trouble

*I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTOOD, HONEY= You better agree with me, son of a bitch!

*I HEARD SOME GOSSIP ABOUT YOU= "... which I'm of course going to believe more than what you will say"


Practical Manual to Understanding Men:

*I'M HUNGRY= I'm hungry

*I'M SLEEPY= I'm sleepy

*I'M TIRED= I'm tired

*WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE?= I want sex

*WANT TO GO SEE A MOVIE?= I want sex

*THAT DRESS LOOKS REALLY NICE ON YOU!= You look super hot, and I want sex!!

*YES, THE NEW HAIRCUT IS NICE= I honestly didn't notice

*BUT, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?? = I don't understand what's the big deal!

*WHAT'S WRONG?= What's wrong NOW?

*ARE YOU MAD?= Fuck, I'm screwed. And no sex for me.

*I'M BORED= I want sex

*I LOVE YOU= I need sex

*WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?= If you don't suggest something, it's motel-time!!